With each new break
A crack was created
Stitching myself back together
Determination the needle
Addiction, therapy, hope was the thread
I look at myself in the mirror
I see sadness etched into lines marring the grooves and planes of my face
Two deeply blue eyes gaze back
Deep in color and in soul
I see what this incarnation has imprinted on me
I continue to act as the seamstress of my soul
Sewing my heart and body back together
A patchwork sorrow, pain, happiness and goodness
It took the breaks and stiches to appreciate the uniqueness of me
Floating or is it drowning?
Air bubbles of hopes and dreams rise above me
Seemingly unattainable the further down I go
Do you know how it feels?
Shackled feet, weighted wrists
A prisoner of my own emotions
Heavy, I feel heavy. All the time.
Brushing my own hair seems like a victory
Victory in the small things right?
Do I stay or do I go? Do I care?
Russian roulette, except not with a gun
My disregard to this thing I call my life is the weapon
The numbness and risky behavior the bullet
Drunk, the pain seeps out of my pores
My subconscious numbed by pain