Brutally honest and open musings. No hiding or pretending. But despite the darkness, there is hope. There is light and I am onward and upward.
Freedom begets more questions
Tears, oh so many tears. When will they stop?
Even with no liquid left in my body; my heart is crying
A cloud has settled in my soul
- A bad day
Who is hiding down there? There in the recesses of my soul?
Do I want to know her?
- Uncomfortable Curiosity
The word stirs up so many connotations
Connotations without answer
- “In much wisdom is much grief”
If only I could cauterize my pain, my crazy.
Lists, Lists, Lists
Paths, oh so many paths
- Over/Under analyzing
Today was a good day. Thank you
Help me see you God. Without all the bullshit
The spiderwebs spun by man
Spiderwebs – silk and hypocrisy
I long to find you. To recapture you. Regain the honey and the hope
That dripped from my lips – my voice
- On writing
“Spiritual lacerations” someone once told me; How the hell do you heal those? How do you heal what has already grown thick with scar tissue?
- Frustrating Metaphors
What? I know you are there. Speak to me.
Speak to me through the wind in the trees
Speak to me in the absolute silence
Speak to my heart. I dare you
- On Spiritual Anger
Fog, thick and dense clings to me
Making me forget my bearing.
Tears appearing from no where
Like snowflakes descending from a clear blue sky
Landing on the frozen ground of my soul
- Fugue is a funny word
Love scares me
Being loved feels like being wrapped too tightly in a hot blanket
Vulnerability is a cliff
Tumble Tumble Tumble
- Why am I single you ask?
Seeing his face pop up on facebook – the jowls on his neck
The tsunami of emotions drowns me with such violence
I can’t function – I can’t move- All I can do is cry
Hot tears for that beautiful and innocent eleven-year-old girl – who was scared
And knew the grasp of his big hands all over her body was wrong
May I be Happy
May I be full of light
May I be full of loving-kindness
- On Positive Shit
My experiences have reduced me to ash.
Like the couple holding each other in the ash, I am frozen, clutching
My hopes and dreams instead
“Go on an adventure they said!” Little did they know getting to know myself has been the greatest adventure of all; boy it’s a jungle in there!
Where are you? How do I find you?
Is it within myself solely? Or is it a physical place?
Will I ever find it?
My heart yearns for it
I feel like an alien, different, not of this place
- On being an emotional refugee
I’ve lost more than I have loved – what is the bigger loss?
- Does it really matter who wins or loses?
Joy- I will find you.
I move around this painted world
Picking up colors as I roll