Underwater

Floating or is it drowning?

Air bubbles of hopes and dreams rise above me

Seemingly unattainable the further down I go

Do you know how it feels?

Shackled feet, weighted wrists

A prisoner of my own emotions

Heavy, I feel heavy. All the time.

Brushing my own hair seems like a victory

Victory in the small things right?

Do I stay or do I go? Do I care?

Let’s play

Russian roulette, except not with a gun

My disregard to this thing I call my life is the weapon

The numbness and risky behavior the bullet

Drunk, the pain seeps out of my pores

My subconscious numbed by pain

Why try

Why bother

Why

Underwater I go

Surviving somewhere between the light of the surface and the darkness below

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