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#inspirational #lifetransition #peace Travel and Inspirational Blogs

Missing Out

 

Fear of missing out, also known as FOMO. As Wikipedia defines it: “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media websites.” Millennials’ are known to acutely suffer from FOMO. I’ll be the first to stand up and raise my hand, my name is Jo’el, and I am addicted to this idea that I am perpetually missing out.

I want it all. To be single, to be married, to travel, to have a career, to have money and free time. At any given place in life I am usually thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. Not only do I suffer from FOMO, but I also perpetuate it. I carefully organize my instagram and social media accounts with the best pictures, portraying a life that is a highly stylized snapshot of my existence. I am flattered when people are envious of where I have been and my life (the life I portray on instagram at least). That satisfaction lasts only as long as it takes me to browse through other people’s instagrams to be envious of their adventures.

This past week a couple of my best friends took a trip to Mexico. A trip that I was supposed to be on. Unfortunately, I am in the middle of finding a new job and at the last minute it was going to be a far more responsible choice for me to stay home. I hated that I had to choose between being responsible and, well, missing out. I was disappointed, but then I started to think. In the span of a year I have radically changed my life. I’ve changed my definitions of what success and happiness mean to me. I have abandoned some life goals, and swapped some out for new and improved goals. I deliberately redefined my life to find happiness and contentment.

I couldn’t make it on this Mexico trip, but what am I actually missing out on? The joy in every day life. The beauty that is spring in Salt Lake City, the fact that I am healthy and the people I love are healthy. I am so preoccupied with the future, with goals and travel plans, that living in the present becomes very difficult. I was asked in a recent job interview what my one-to-five year plans were, and the first thing that leapt to my mind was “I want to be happy.” I want to have a work-life balance. I always associated being happy with “when I get married,” “when I get that promotion” or “when I can take that trip”. I have aggressively crossed off items on my life to-do list, and achieved everything I set out to achieve, I still haven’t been happy. I am constantly restless, filled with a deep loneliness and fear that I am somehow, missing out on something. Success has a different meaning for me now. Now, being content is my definition of success. Not that I’ve abandoned all goals, I think it is supremely important to continue to strive and be better than you were the year before. However, the difference is internal. I want to be more loving, more gracious, more content, more peaceful than I was last year – all of those things are not about what trips I’ve taken or what job title I held.

When the day finally came and I had to drop my friends off at the airport, my heart didn’t sink. Even though I couldn’t be part of this trip, I wasn’t missing out; I am realizing the gloriousness of the moment in front of me.

 

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Spring in Salt Lake City

 

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Travel and Inspirational Blogs

Life on Standby

 

I am one of those extremely fortunate people who have friends that work in the aviation industry, and in their graciousness they have chosen to bestow their flight benefits upon me. With these benefits I get to fly standby, which means if there is an open seat on a flight I get to hop on that flight for extremely cheap, or even free. Sounds pretty amazing right? It is, but like with all things in life, not all is glitz and glam; there are ups and there are downs. As I was waiting at yet another airport, it occurred to me that there are some lessons I have learned flying standby that can be applied to life in general.

Here are a few things I have learned flying standby:

  • Sometimes you are lucky enough to experience life has a baller. Enjoy.every.second. Yeah, that first class ticket to Paris that cost me $300 instead of $9000 was amazing. I sipped champagne, used real cutlery and was so bewitched with my seat that turned into a bed that I didn’t sleep a wink over the Atlantic. One flight had me rethinking my entire life, and by the end of the flight I was ready to marry an old millionaire and carry a tiny dog around in my designer bag. Just kidding; kind of. Sometimes in life, you get lucky and it is easy to ruin the moment by thinking “geez, I wish I could travel like this ALL the time”- well, you can’t, so enjoy it for what it is and don’t let preoccupation with the future ruin the here and the now.
  • To have the humility and patience to deal with life when you are not treated like a VIP baller. Because you are not a paying passenger there are certain airline employees that can feel like they can improve their day by treating you like crap. Be humble. Is it worth fighting the gate agent when she is condescending and downright rude? Nah. You have no idea what people have to go through in their day. Most of the time rudeness has nothing to do with you. If we passed along graciousness and a smile who knows the chain reaction it would have.
  • You are not always going to get a seat. This applies to flights, and musical chairs. What it teaches us is that we do not always get what we want, when we want it. This is a lesson the universe has let me learn repeatedly. Instead of sitting down in the middle of the moving walkway at the Denver airport and kicking your feet in a tantrum, just breathe. You’ll make it (somewhere) eventually, which leads me too….
  • Be flexible. Everyone has plans, for their day, for their life. We hold onto our plans and our schedules with a death grip, any deviation is a cause for panic. If every plan you’ve ever made has come to fruition, we need to talk. I am jealous over here, I mean even Martha Stewart didn’t see jail coming. Flying stand by has really taught me to be flexible. One time I had an epic girls trip planned to Buenos Aires. We had researched, we had visas, we had been practicing our Spanish (by practicing I mean I could order wine in Spanish). We made it to Houston, and long story short, the flights became booked at the very last minute and there was no way we were going to make it. It was 11pm, we were exhausted, stranded, and definitely not making it to Argentina anytime soon. I looked up at the flight status board and turned to my friend and said, “Hey, how do the flights to Belize look?” As it was, no one was flying to Belize that weekend, and by 6am the next morning we all were on a flight to Belize. Was it Argentina? No. I didn’t drink wonderful wine from Mendoza, but I was able to swim with sharks on the second largest barrier reef in the world, and my Spanish? Well, I had “Uno mas cervas por favor” down. You just never know when planning for something the universe is really preparing you for something even better.
  • The view from above. When slogging through life’s crap, I have to tell myself that my perspective in that moment may not be the entire picture. I was recently taking off from the airport in my hometown, and as we started climbing in altitude we flew over a lake that I spent many summers at. In that lake, there is a rock formation that you can swim to. The rock was a popular destination to cliff dive from or hike around and find secluded tanning place. Often times the rock seemed to be a much further swim than it looked from the shore. Halfway through the swim you could get tired and cold, and making it to that rock seemed to be so much of an effort. Sometimes in the moment, it seemed hopeless – what was it worth to make it to that stupid rock anyway? Well as I flew over the lake, I realized not only how small the distance from the shore to the rock was, but how small the entire lake was. It is all about your perspective, and time usually changes our perspective. Do not get bogged down by weariness in the moment. And that rock? Yeah, some of the best memories I have of those endless teenage summers are of are swimming to that rock and finding a hidden place and tanning topless with my girlfriends- giggling in the scandal of it all. I’ll never forget that.

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